MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS
by Britz
Summary: (Try saying that 5 times fast) It's a start for a whole whodunnit thing with the Animorphs, David, his girl friend and Erek so read, review and tell me what LOL stands for.
1. MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS

  
Britz-It's me, it's me, it's the B-R-I-T-Z..........Go read the God-damn story.  
  
Disclaimer-Animorphs ain't mine, the whole taking-off-Sherlock -Holmes-schnick isn't exactly an original idea of mine and the set-up for the creepy house theyr'e all in I stole off Cluedo.  
In fact the only things I own are myself and the plot-hole that got them all to the aforementioned creepy house, so anything else ain't mine.  
  
Summery-I wouldn't worry about it to much, I doubt that this will have much of a plot. Alright theyr'e all in this big house when Tobias is murdered, then this whole whodunnit thing starts.  
  
Rating-I haven't decided yet, since it's only the start.  
  
  
MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS 1/God only knows  
  
(Pans in on a big creepy house on top of a big creepy hill in the middle of a big creepy forrest, pans in on the big creepy door next to the big creepy windows the door opens to a big creepy foyer with a creepy set of stairs and a bunch of those big creepy chairs you always read about in creepy books y'know the type always covered with big creepy white sheets and big creepy spider webs all over the place that can be seen every time there's a creepy flash of lightning out side in the big creepy sky, the over-all feel is very.......Umm......Hmmm.. Well I can't quite think of a word to descibe it y'know.)(I apologise for that terrible terrible joke please don't leave)  
  
(All the Animorphs stand around a well-lit but still very creepy room)  
  
Cassie-Well uh here we are.  
  
Jake-Yes that is correct. *pause*  
  
Tobias-Sooo um,*to Jake* how are things?  
  
Jake-Good yeah theyr'e good. You?  
  
Tobias-Can't complain..So Cassie..  
  
Rachel-Oh will you guys shut up!  
  
Marco-Yeah, why the hell are we here?!  
  
Jake-Ssh don't go questioning the plot holes  
  
Rachel-Even ones you could drive a Mac-truck through?  
  
Tobias-Not if you ever want to work in a Britz Fan-Fic again  
  
Cassie-yeah you just have to stand around doing totally pointless crap until a plot emerges.  
  
Marco-*Whining* But this is Britz were talking about, that'll take forevveeeer.  
  
Jake-Oh! Oh! I got it! wer'e here cause Erek told us to meet him here! *The other Animorphs agree cause they want to get this over with*  
  
(Erek in dog/robot/thing form walks into the room)  
  
Erek-Hey guys.  
  
Animorphs-"Hey"  
  
Erek-I suppose your all wondering why I called you here today, *they all nod* well the fact is the yeerks have stuff that will make your hair stand on end!  
  
All-*shock* *pause*  
  
Jake-Uhh, what is it?  
  
Erek-It's called brill cream, you put it in your hair and it'll stand on end.  
  
Rachel-That's it?! That's what you brought us up here for and got us all worked up about?!!!?  
  
Erek-Oh right like I know what the hell's going on.  
  
(Suddenly David runs into the room wearing a little rat dressing gown and carrying a little rat glass of brandy)  
  
David-Tee hee ha ha ha *see's the Animorphs* Hey! what the fuck are you doing here!?  
  
Cassie-Us! What are you doing here!?  
  
David-I'm up here for a romantic get away with my girlfriend  
  
Marco-HA! David and his little rat girl friend! *Ha ha ha etc*  
  
David-Little rat girl friend? Hardly. *out the door* Honey come in, we have guests *to Animorphs* meet my girl, Peace, Peace Ofass (c'mon she needed a name and that was all I could think of, please be kind)  
  
(In walks a women who for all descriptive purposes, looks exactly like Heather Graham, wearing a matching dressing gown)  
  
Marco-Ha ha ha *sees David's girl friend* Gah-hoy *Starts choking and coughing*  
  
David-*who is now standing on top of a chair* Hello Snuggle pillow  
  
Peace-Hello cutsey pie, my sweet little honey pot of joy *She bends over and eskimo kisses him, Rachel and Cassie go and vomit out the window at such a disgusting display of affection while Marco, Jake, Tobias and Erek stare down the front of Peace's dressing gown Ax just stood there, happy I finally decided to mention him* Ahh Davie honey *looks up at the Animorphs* who are thease people  
  
David-thease are the Animorph's honey bun, you remember I told you about them.  
  
Peace-Oh yeah *walks up to Rachel, who has just finished throwing up and whispers to her*-Listen there is no need to be embarrassed, David explained all about you two. But youv'e got to understand, he's my man now.  
  
Rachel-He said what exactly?  
  
Peace-*whispering* He explained how you two had one night of passion and you became a little, how you say, pyschoticly obsessed.  
  
Rachel-WHAT!!!!! *stomps toward David preparing to beat the shit out of him*  
  
Peace-*yelling* Hey back off you crazy whore! I said he's my man now!!!!! *pushes Rachel away* Normal voice to David* I just love you so much my sweet honey-bunny baby  
  
David-and I love you my smoochy woochy goochy *they sit down on the couch preparing to make out when something actually connected to the randomly appearing story line happens*  
  
(The lights go out)  
  
*In the darkness their is an Eeeeek! a loud SLAP! a THUD! During all that their are several loud moans like-Oh oh OH! ohhhhhh*  
  
(The lights come back on)  
  
*Every one is in the same places except for Tobias who is on the floor with a knife stuck straight through him and Jake who is lying out cold on the floor*  
  
Marco-Woah that's weird  
  
Rachel-Mmm....I mean TOBIAS!!!  
  
Cassie-*scared* Who can save us now?  
  
David-Umm oh! Oh! The answer's Scooby Doo  
  
Erek-Is it super-man?  
  
Rachel-Nah! It's Dick Tracy right Cassie?  
  
Cassie-*quiet* Actually it was a retorical question.  
  
Marco-Well I don't know *spins around looking around for a camara to point into, since there are none he just points randomly* but can you solve this case?  
  
Erek-*realises Marco is pointing at him* Oh! well I guess I could take a STAB at it *nudge nudge* though if I was wrong I could really get CUT *wink wink*  
  
Rachel-Shut the hell up and get on with it.  
  
(It's a cheap place to end it but)  
  
*To be continued*  
  
Who killed Tobias? Who knocked out Jake? Who moaned? Who screamed? Who killed Cock Robin? Will Ax ever get to talk? What does LOL stand for any-way? Will this mess develop some sort of logical plot? Will I get enough good reviews to stop me from killing someone? Is Elvis really dead? and what's the deal with air-line peanuts? I guess some of thease questions will be answered in the next thing but most of them won't but eh what'cha gonna do?  
  
  
  
  



	2. MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS #2

  
Britz-Oyy it's another one.   
  
Disclaimer-I own nothing.  
  
Summery-Do I really have to give one cause I feel all sleepy, besides if you read the first one you should know the basic deal thing, and if you haven't read the first one I wouldn't worry to much the so-called 'plot' only really started near the end.  
  
MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS #2  
  
(Scene- Lets recap shall we? Tobias is on the floor with a knife stuck through him and Jake is out cold)  
  
Erek-*Who has used his hologram to make himself a Sherlock Holmes out-fit while still in robot form* Now lets recap shall we? When the lights went out we heard a woman's scream, a slap, a thud and a bunch of moans, then when the lights came back on Tobias was dead and Jake is out cold. Can anyone explain themselves hmmm?  
  
Rachel-I can explain.  
*long pause*  
Erek-Well why don't you then?  
  
Rachel-Well when the lights went out *whole thing does that blur thing they always do on TV when they make a memory thing happen*  
  
Marco-Oh shit I've been slipped acid again  
  
Erek-Shut the fuck up, the memorys about to start  
  
*In the memory Marco and Jake use the dark to grab hold of Rachels (ahem ahem) 'hinney' Rachel grabs Marco hand and twists it till he screams like a girl..*  
  
Marco-*interrupting the memory* Hey I did not scream like a girl, it was more of a high pitched male grunt I swear.  
  
David-Bull shit  
  
Marco-*whining so hard he sounds like Fran off 'The Nanny'* But it waaaaaaassssss *Hicups* A-HAaaa.  
  
Rachel-Anyhow *restarts memory-in it she continues by slapping Jake so hard he gets knocked out and falls with a thud!*And thats what happened.  
  
Cassie-Is that so? *go's over to where Jake is now waking up and kicks him in the stomach* Ass-hole  
  
Erek-But that dosn't explain the moans  
  
*David and Peace Ofass look at each other in a very nervous way and both say at the same time*-must have been Tobias yeah, yep, definatly.  
  
Jake-*Who has finally gotten up* Well I reckon it must have been David, he's the most logical one  
  
Erek-Ha HA! Don't be so sure for every one in this room has a motive for killing Tobias!  
  
Marco-Really?  
  
Erek-Yes  
  
Rachel-Nah your'e shitting us, I mean EVERYBODY?  
  
Erek-Everybody.  
  
Peace-Well what are the chances of that?  
  
Erek-Will you shut the fuck up!! Part of this next bit actually makes sense!!!  
  
David-Part of it's gonna make SENSE, now youv'e got to be shitting us  
  
Erek-NO, you see Tobias and Cassie were having an affair!  
  
Rachel and Jake-They were WHAT!?!?  
  
Erek-Bah-humbug (Yes thats right Bah-humbug) If one of you had found out about it then you would have a perfectly valid reason for killing Tobias, so how do we know you didn't know what they knew or if you knew while they thought you didn't know but you did know but they thought they knew you didn't know but since you did know it was known to you that they thought they knew that you didn't know that...Oh shit Iv'e gone cross-eyed  
  
*Everyone stares blankly at Erek*  
  
Rachel-Umm but if all that happened wouldn't it make more sense for me to kill Cassie and not Tobias? *She is immedently struck by lightning for exposing such a huge and blatingly obvious plot-hole*   
  
Erek-No, no it would not.  
  
Marco-So what about Cassie?  
  
Erek-Well she tried to break it off with Tobias  
  
Marco-Ooh do tell  
  
Erek-He flew into a rage and threated to tell Jake about their affair *turns to Cassie* so you tried to take the easy way out *points at her* Didn't you! DIDN'T YOU!!!  
  
Cassie-*calm* no  
  
Erek-Prove it  
  
Cassie-*still calm* I can't  
  
Erek-Well...Umm...Al-ight, next we come to Marrr-co  
  
Marco-Don't say my name like that, besides why would I do it?  
  
Erek-Why indeed Marrr-co let me refresh your memory *Does that whole memory*  
  
*in the memory Marco is walking down the street when a bird shits on his head he looks up and sees Tobias flying past so he screams "YOUR DEAD TOBIAS!!! I'LL KILL YOU MAN!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!" And continues walking. Memory ends*  
  
Marco-Bull, you just made that up didn't you?  
  
Erek-No I didn't.  
  
Marco-As if, you about to start laughing aren't you?  
  
Erek-*trying to suppress laughter* No I'm not *changing subject* and as for Ax.....Well I don't know lets just throw something together with forbidden love for Rachel and beliving Tobias was in the way of their love, every one okay with that  
  
*everyone nods except for Rachel who has been dealing with the fasion emergency of how her hair is filled with static since she recovered from being struck by lightning*  
  
David-So I'm guessing we'll go with the whole'Animorphs turned me into a rat schnick' for my and Peace's motive?  
  
Erek-Yeah alright, But you see I have already deducted who the killer was!  
  
All-*Gasp*  
  
Erek-Yes indeedy *begins pacing* after many a deduction  
  
Marco-How many a deduction?  
  
Erek-Three hundred and eighty four  
  
Cassie-Bull, how could you deduct so much in such a short time?  
  
Erek-Well I'm a computer aren't I? Besides might as well move the story along as quickly as possible.  
  
Cassie-Okay then who's the killer?  
  
Erek-*turns to them* The killer is none other than...  
  
*To be continued*   
  
Britz-Ooh Aah, Have you worked it out? Pretty damn mysterious hey? Since I now know what LOL stands for why don't you tell me what ROTFL stands for? And while your at it why not LMFAO too, also, as well? Remember to review y'all or I am just gonna snap Mmm'kay? What's yellow and dangerous? Why am I writing more questions? and if the suspense from the ending isn't driving you nuts then how about this What has four legs and one arm? Review and I'll tell you.   
  
*To be continued*   
  



	3. MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS #3

  
Britz-If you find this story offensive in any way, your'e not cool.  
  
Disclaimer-It ain't mine.  
  
Summery-C'mon this is the third one, if you have not worked out the basic storyline yet GET HELP.  
  
  
MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS #3  
*continued from the last one*  
  
Erek-...Jake!  
  
Rachel-What about him?  
  
Erek-Well..Uh..He's the killer.  
  
David-Well why didn't you just say that then?  
  
Erek-I did.  
  
Cassie-Bullshit  
  
Erek-in the last one I did.  
  
Peace-Thats got to be the most stupied continuation Iv'e ever seen.  
  
Erek-Alright then, I'll do it again.  
  
MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS #3  
*continued from the last one*  
  
Erek-The killer was....Jake!  
  
All-*gasp*  
  
Marco-Hang on a sec, no it wasn't.  
  
Erek-Yes it was! He used the darkness to kill Tobias then acted in a manner that would provide a suitable alibi!! He also had the most logical reason for killing Tobias.  
  
Marco-Oh yes logic, that really applys in this story, besides I know he's not the killer.  
  
Erek-Why? do you know who killed Tobias?  
  
Marco-No.  
  
Erek-Where you with him at the time Tobias was killed?  
  
Marco-No.  
  
Erek-Are you just defending Jake out of loyalty to him?  
  
Marco-No it just that I know he can't be the killer.  
  
Erek-Why?  
  
Marco-Because the killer has just murdered him.  
  
Erek-Wha..*everyone looks over at Jake who has been shot four times and has an axe stuck in his head*  
  
Cassie-*jumps away from Jakes body* Holy shit!!  
  
Rachel-*yelling at Cassie* You were sitting next to him the whole time how could you not notice?!!?  
  
Cassie-I was listening to Erek!  
  
Erek-Well Jimmety Christmas, this case is gonna be a toughie.  
Okay Tobias and Jake are dead, first lets establise the cause of their deaths. *everyone looks at Jakes decimated corpse and Tobias's skewered body*  
  
Marco-*sarcastic* Boy that's gonna be a toughie.  
  
Erek-*still serious* Yes well you all should get off to bed while I ponder this some more. *everyone go's to different bedrooms in the house except David and Peace who go to the same-(Duh)*  
  
*several hours later in the study where Marco is lying awake*  
  
Marco-So tired so very very tired, must stay awake, Oh to hell with it I'll just rest my eyes for a second or three *closes eyes.* A figure covered by the shadows begins to sneak up on him holding a big candlestick*  
  
*meanwhile Rachel is walking around the kitchen and she discovers that weird passage that gets you to the study*(see   
I told you the setup was taken from Cluedo)  
  
Rachel-Wow, A secret passage, I will pointlessly proceed down it to see where it leads (What? you knew she would go down it, I might as well be honest about her reason) *Rachel go's down the passsage and comes out in the shadows of the study in just ONE MOVE.*  
  
*from the killers point of view*   
*sneak's up behind Marco and lifts up the candle-stick*  
  
Marco-Huh? *turns around* Oh it's you, I gotta tell you something, you..*Killer smacks him on the head with the candle stick* Ow! Shit that really hurt!!  
  
Killer-Huh?? *hits Marco harder*  
  
Marco-*whining* OW!!! Stop hitting me!!!  
  
Killer-*throws away the candle and pulls out a chainsaw then begins trying to start it.*  
  
Marco-*feeling better* Say what'cha doing there? *Killer starts chainsaw and cuts off Marco's arm* Ow! Hey you wouldn't kill an un-ARMed man would you?   
  
Killer-Wha..*get's joke* Oh right heehee, yes. Even if you seem hARM-less enough *both laugh then the killer cuts straight across where Marco's heart is, then slices his stomach so all his guts come out*  
  
Marco-Well you BROKE my HEART, yet I still go to PIECES over you.*both laugh again* Boy *tee hee* I'm not sure I can STOMACH much more of this.  
  
Killer-What? The killing?  
  
Marco-No, the bad jokes! *both laugh*  
  
Killer-Well PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER man *saws Marco completely in half*  
  
Marco-I'm gonna sue your PANTS OFF.  
  
Killer-You can try but you HAVN'T GOT a LEG TO STAND ON.*Both burst out laughing* A-ha hee hee *cuts off Marco's head*  
  
Marco-Wow! Chapman was right when he said I'd never get A HEAD in life! *both laugh*Killer turns off chainsaw*  
  
Killer-Well dude, next life try being more HEAD-strong *both laugh* then the killer kicks Marco's still laughing head out the window*says to themself-* A-hee hee hee poor kid, he used to have such a good HEAD on his shoulders *chuckles*  
  
Rachel-*Who has been hiding in the shadows the whole time finally bursts out laughing* HA! HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *sees killer walking towards her holding a big knife* oh shit.  
*she runs out of the room screaming, the killer runs after her with his/her/it's face still covered by shadow*  
  
*Rachel runs yelling down a bunch of hallways with the killer (who is now wearing a 'Scream' mask) chasing her*  
  
Rachel-*Trips over and looks back at the killer* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *pant pant* HHHHHH!!!!!!!  
*The killer trips picks himself up dusts himself off and continues running, meanwhile Rachel just continues screaming*  
  
Killer-*now just a few metres away lifts up the knife* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Rachel-AHHHHHH!!  
  
Killer-HA HA HA!!!  
  
Rachel-AHH AHH AHH!!!  
  
Killer-MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Rachel-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Killer starts to bring the knife down!!!*  
  
*to be continued*  
  
Britz-Ha ha ha! Review or thou shall never know what's gonna happen! MUAHAHAHAHAHAcough,choke A-ha hee hee ho ho ho ahhhh.  
  



	4. MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS the 4th and f...

  
Britz-Here it is, the forth and final, but I've got to warn all those of you who have read the others (and if you haven't read the others then what are you doing here dip-shit?) and have been making all those guess's on who the killer is gonna be in the end y'all are gonna get pissed off and write me nasty reviews for the way I end this thing, oh don't worry I'll tell you who the killer is *evil chuckle* so go ahead and read my prettys READ! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer-What's left of the Animorphs isn't mine.  
  
  
MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS the 4th and final.  
  
Killer-MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Rachel-AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
  
*Killer raises the knife*  
  
Rachel-AHHHHHHHH!!! *suddenly WHAM! the never mentioned before door next to Rachel swings out and smashes the killer in the face, then out steps David wearing a little rat viking outfit and smoking a little rat cigarette*  
  
David-What the fuck is going on out here?! Stop fucking screaming!!  
  
Rachel-The..the..the..  
  
David-*sarcastic*Wha..wha..WHAT! *the killer jumps up behind him*  
  
Rachel-*pointing*THE KILLER!!  
  
David-Huh? *begins to turn around but the killer swoops the knife down to cut off Davids head!.....And misses by at least a foot since David is so short  
  
Killer-Dammit! *holds the knife up so he/she/it can cut David  
straight down the middle*  
  
Peace-Take this arse-hole *she jumps out of the room and kicks the killer in the head*  
  
Killer-*whingy* Owwww *gets punched several times by Peace* Ouch! that isn't very nice! *runs away crying*  
  
Rachel-Good work, but he'll be back and *finally notices Peace is wearing what looks like a very sexy shepardess outfit* huh? *looks back at David in his viking costume then at Peace then back at David* Oh good God, I don't even want to know what this is all about.  
  
David-Oh this? *pointing at his outfit* you see I'm the invading hun and she's the lonely shepard's daughter who..  
  
Rachel-Ah-eh-oh-ah already to much information, come on we've got to find Erek.  
  
Peace-Why?  
  
Rachel-Because now Marco is *sniff* DEAD! *sob cry*  
  
David-Well let me see what this registers on my 'Do-I-Give-A-Shit-O-Meter'. Hmmmm No  
  
Rachel-Well you need to come anyway so that Erek can do his little end-thing and then we can all get out of this plot-hole infested dumb-ass story.  
  
David-Alright, just as long as I can keep her *nods towards Peace* when this damn thing ends.   
  
*Half hour later in the conservatory, where all the remaining characters are gathered, no real reason for them being in the conservatory, I just think it's a cool sounding room*  
  
Erek-*pacing* Wellity wellity wellity, here we all are, us normal everyday OOC folks, except that one of us *stops pacing, yells*-Is a big fat Killer!!!  
  
All-*gasp*  
  
Erek-Yes! They killed Tobias with a knife in the lounge!  
  
All-*gasp*  
  
Erek-And I know that the killer was! It was none other than... AX!! *Everbody turns and looks at Ax*  
  
David-*notices Ax is has been hanged from the roof and is now dead* Hang on a sec, he's dead.  
  
Rachel-So he wasn't the killer, but the killer killed Ax with a rope in the conservatory?  
  
Cassie-But look there's a note in his hand! *takes out note and starts reading off it*-Good bye cruel Fan-fic I'm too depressed to go on, all I got in this friggen story was one action thing where I didn't even get to do anything I couldn't take it any longer. Rock and roll forever from Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill.  
P.S. Give my regards to Broadway.  
  
Erek-Dammit, well I guess the only person it could be now is Cassie so I guess..   
  
Rachel-Holy shit!! Now Cassie is dead!!*Everyone looks at Cassie's dead body which has a lead pipe sitting next to it  
  
Erek-Oh crimmady, well how about Colonel Mustard then? *points to old guy standing near the door way*  
  
Colonel Mustard-I say old boy what the devil are you talking about? *A feathery arm comes through the door and stabs Colonel Mustard*  
  
Erek-Ah-HA! *jumps across the room and graps the feathery arm then pulls in a thing that appears to be a cross between a human and a bird* Here is your killer!! None other than Tobias who faked his own death! Then got himself stuck while morphing so he could kill all you guys!!   
  
All-*gasp*  
  
Rachel-But wait a minute.  
  
Erek-Oh what the hell is it this time?  
  
Rachel-There's just two things that bother me, one- that motive makes no sense what so ever, and two-that isn't Tobias, It's just some crazy person in a chicken suit, look it even has a zipper down the front.  
  
Erek-Well why don't we see who's inside!!  
  
Killer-Le sigh *Un-zips costume and the chicken suit falls off exposing a handsome figure wearing taste-ful, brand name clothing and black wire-framed glasses.*  
  
All-*gasp*(they tend to gasp a lot don't they?) "It's you!"  
  
Killer-*takes a four-colour pen out of his jacket and holds it like a cigar.* Yes it's me it's me it's the B-R-I-T-Z.  
  
Erek-But why did you do it Britz?  
  
Britz-For shits and giggles I suppose.  
  
Erek-Well *blocks Britz's way with his body* I won't let you kill again! I may not be able to be violent but I'm damn near indestructable!  
  
Britz-Re-he-elly *sticks pen in his mouth and brings out the handle of a flick knife*  
  
Erek-A tiny little knife, oh please.  
  
Britz-Heh heh heh *flicks out 'blade' and shows Erek it's actually a litte can-opener*  
  
*Shows the shadows of Erek and Britz on the wall*  
  
Erek-No No NOOOOO!!!*Britz's shadow makes several 'Pysco'-like stabbing motions at Erek' shadow*  
  
*cut's back to Britz and Erek*   
  
Erek-Nope I'm fine *Erek falls to pieces* Whoops no I'm not. *Erek dies*  
  
Rachel-Oh this is ri-God damn-diculous *walks up to Britz* Why did you bother writing this fucking story?!  
  
Britz-*looks at her skepticlly*  
  
Rachel-Yeah I'm talking to you ass-wipe, and get that fucking pen out of your mouth and answer me!!*she slaps the pen out of his mouth and it flys out the window*  
  
Britz-Shit! My pen! The source of all my Super presto-Not quite Onipotent-But still not half bad-Writing power!!* jumps to the window and looks out-side where he can see a half-dozen Fan-fic-police cop cars parked out side* oh shit.*ten Cop's come pouring into the room*  
  
Cop#1-Alright Britz, turn around very slowly and drop any writing equipment you may have on you.  
  
Britz-I don't get it, who called the cops?  
  
Cop#2-Well it looks like some one was one step A HEAD of you there *all the other cops laugh*  
  
Britz-What?..Oh no it isn't, Is it? *Marco's head comes bouncing into the room*  
  
Marco-That's right Britzy boy, I figured before everyone LOST THEIR HEADS over the situation I'd should call the cops, though it looks like Erek already WENT TO PIECES over you *everyone except Britz laughs*  
  
Britz-Ahh yeah *suddenly jumps forward, graps Marco's head then jumps back* Step off everyone! I've got a hostage!  
  
Cop#1-But you have nothing to hold him hostage with.  
  
Britz-Well...Then..I'm using him for a human shield!  
  
Cop#3-Ain't much of a human shield, he's just a head.  
  
Britz-Oh yeah...Well...*sticks his tongue out at the police* so there!  
  
Cop#1-Well thats the last straw! Men open fire!! *All ten cops start shooting*  
  
Marco-*gets shoot in the fore head* Well I needed that like I needed a HOLE IN THE HEAD! *Marco finally dies*  
  
Britz-*getting shot* Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow. *stumbles back and falls out the window which is on the second-story* AHHHH!! *CRUNCH!* Ow! *the cops on the ground throw a can of tear gas at him* Ow it burns! It burns! *six cops come in and beat him with night-sticks, hand cuff him and half-walk half-drag him to a cop car.*  
  
Cop#4-*putting Britz in the car* Ooh ooh careful, watch your head there. *puts him in and the car drives away*  
  
*Back in the conservatory*  
  
Cop#1-Alright men, clear out! *talking to Rachel, David and Peace*-Alright you three Were sorry you had to go through that, wannabe writers like Britz really are the cancer on Fan-Fic.net they are the cancer and us at F-F.N.P.D (Fan-fiction.Net Police Department) are the...Umm..Aaw jeez what cures cancer?  
  
David-Riiight, So whats gonna happen with us?  
  
Cop#1-Don't worry we'll send some one for you within the next couple of days. You gonna be alright till then?  
  
Rachel-Oh I'm sure we can think of something to do till then *giggles seductivly at David*  
  
*two hours later, scene of hall outside of the libray*  
  
Rachel's voice-OOh David DAVID! Oooh!  
  
*shot inside the Libray where they are all gathered around a board game*  
  
Rachel-*angry* Ooh David! You know I was headed for the Dining room! Your'e just picking on me!   
  
David-Tough shit, I called you to the billiard room so youv'e got to go there (Well why else would she be yelling out his name hmm? Get your mind out of the gutter people!)  
  
Colonel Mustard-*who still has a knife stuck in his back* Yes, well he's got you there old girl.  
  
Rachel-I hate this fucking game, can't we just play 'Mouse Trap'instead?  
  
THE MERCIFUL END  
(or is it?)  
  
Britz-*stuck in the back of police car, digs in his back pocket and pulls out his faithfull four-colour pen that he got when he fell out the window* I'll show them! I'll show them all!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-teeheehee-HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!  
Jeez i could sure go for a Coke right now. 


End file.
